Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

Putting Myself First

If you're a regular reader of my blog, then you might have noticed that I haven't really been active recently. A lot was happening in my personal life that meant blogging just wasn't something I wanted to do. It was a pretty tough month for me, meaning I wasn't exactly feeling very creative, but I want to explain a little bit about why I haven't been active. I now feel so much happier both within myself and my every day life, and I want to start working on my blog again. 

Over the past few weeks, I've learnt a lot about myself and my character. When you're in a long term relationship, you tend to put your significant other at the centre of everything you think about and do. But when that person suddenly leaves, life can become extremely lonely. I've always been particularly independent, or so I thought, but I didn't realise just how little I actually focused on myself until I truly was on my own.  I've always put other people and their wants/needs before my own. A trait I seem to take from my mum. You could argue that this is both a good and a bad thing, but there comes a point when you have to start putting yourself first. Something I haven't done in a very long time

Being in love is amazing, and having someone to share your life with is a beautiful thing. But you don't realise just how much of your life is taken up by that person until they suddenly aren't there anymore. I put my all into my relationship, doing as much as humanly possible to make my ex-partner happy. Something I hope he would agree with. So when I became single, I had so much free time that I was unsure what to do with it. As I live on my own, one of my main worries after my break-up was that I would feel lonely. However, I've felt quite the contrary. I haven't actually spent all that much time on my own as my friends made sure they were keeping me busy, which definitely helped me get over everything I was going through. But even when I am on my own, I've just been enjoying focusing on myself. I actually feel less lonely now than I did before. 

There's no way I would've gotten through the last couple of months without the help of my friends and family, both of which have been the most amazing support network. My Mum was there for me when I was upset and needed a shoulder to cry on, and my Dad was always there to pick me up and give me the harsh truth that I needed to move on. All of my friends have been so amazing too, such as Sophie, who helped me realise how to be confident in myself and how much happier I am now, and also showed me that night's out and nightclubs are actually a lot of fun. Something I never used to think. But also Amy for still being there for me even though she's just started a new chapter of her own, and Annya for just being a text message away whenever I needed a friend. But I definitely wouldn't be as happy as I am now without Emily. Emily (my BFF for life) is the most incredible person I've ever met. The amount of support and comfort she's given to me over the past two months is something I'll never forget. From coming to my rescue late in the evening because I was upset, to cooking me dinner at least twice a week and putting up with my moaning for hours on end. Emily truly is one those people who is beautiful both inside and out. Everyone needs a friend like her in their life.

What the past couple of months has taught me is that time really does heal everything. No matter how low or down you may feel about a situation, as long as you have an amazing support network, you'll defintely get through it. Over the last couple of weeks in particular, numerous people have told me how much happier I seem and how they're glad to see that the "old" Jade is back. And I really am. My aim for now is just to focus on me, spend more time with my loved ones and just have fun. I'm excited to see what the next few months will have in store for me.

10 Fun Date Ideas

Even after having been in a relationship for a while, I still get excited about going on dates together. I know that thinking of unique ideas for things to do together, whether it be your first date or your twentieth, can sometimes be a bit tricky. So here are some of the things that I think would be fun to do for a date:

1. Go for a picnic 

Now that we're finally into summer, a picnic would be the perfect way to spend a sunny day! You can spend the day together lying on a nice big blanket and eating a delicious spread of your favourite food and drinks. Of course, this doesn't have to be just the two of you. You could go with a group of friends, which might make you feel more at ease if you and your partner are still getting to know each other.

2. Go for breakfast

This is a bit different than just going for dinner. It's a lot more casual, and can also be a lot cheaper if you're on a bit of budget. I absolutely love going out for breakfast!

3. Explore somewhere new

I think this would be a really fun way to spend the entire day together. Is there somewhere you've always wanted to visit? Or why not just jump on a train and see where it takes you? You could go together and spend the day wandering around and exploring. You never know what you might find, and in a few years time, you can go back for a visit and remember what a nice time you had.

4. Go to your favourite bar/restaurant 

Do you know a bar that does really good cocktails? You could introduce your partner to some of your favourite places to eat or drink, and it will also help them get to know a little bit more about some of the things that you like. Going for a drink is also a good way to ease any first date nerves, however, I obviously don't recommend getting completely drunk if this is your first time meeting someone...

5. Go to the theatre

This one is a little bit different to the typical "dinner and a movie" date. A theatre show would be a good idea for a first or second date if you're still getting to know each other and you get a little bit nervous trying to make conversation. I would recommend seeing something lighthearted, like a musical or a comedy, but it would also give you plenty to talk about after the show.

6. Go to the zoo or aquarium

I would love to go on a date to the zoo! It would be so much fun wandering around, looking at all of the animals. A fun date like this would also give you lots to talk about if you're still getting to know each other.

7. Go to a concert

If you have any mutual interests in a particular band or type of music, it could be fun to go and see them in concert together. The feeling you get at a gig or concert when your favourite artist comes on stage is unlike any other, so it would be really special to share that moment together. 


8. Stargazing

You could go for a walk or climb a hill, and then once you get to the top, you can wait for the sun to set and watch the stars as they light up the sky! How romantic is that?

9. Go to the beach

If it's a nice sunny day, why not pack up your things and head to the beach for the day? You could go for ice cream, wander along the sea front, or even go for fish and chips! If only it was sunnier more often in Scotland, then I would absolutely love to do this.

10. Have your own movie night

If you're on a bit of tighter budget, or you just fancy a cosy night in together, then this is the one for you! You could put on your favourite film, grab some tasty snacks and cuddle under a blanket. This one can be as romantic as you please, but it can also be super chilled if you just want to relax and spend some together.

An Open Letter To My Grandma

On the 4th of February 2014, my Grandma sadly passed away. She was diagnosed with cancer just 11 months before, and those few short months were the quickest of my life. My Grandma was one of the most important people in my life, and her lack of presence in my life is something I still struggle with every day. Our relationship was truly special. My Grandma would've done absolutely anything for me, and she taught me so many valuable lessons about life. This post is particularly personal for me, and I debated about whether to publish it or not. But my Grandma was a wonderful lady, and my blog is a place where I express a lot about what's happening in my life, so that's why I'm choosing to upload this.
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Dear Grandma,

It's been a couple of years now since the last time we were together. I can't believe it's been that long. It feels like only yesterday that I was by your side, holding your hand and wishing that things were different. A lot has happened over the last two years. If only you could see for yourself how much I've changed and grown up. Every day, something new happens that I want to call you up and tell you about. It breaks my heart not being able to do that, but I know that you're watching over me and helping me along the way.


As soon as I turned 17, I started learning to drive! I know that you were so excited for me to start my lessons. It was all thanks to you and Grandad for saving up all that money for me and buying my lessons for my birthday. I can't thank you enough for that! Less than 9 months later I passed my test and was on the road all by myself, if only you could've been here to see me.

I finished high school with pretty good grades and managed to get an unconditional offer for the University of Stirling. I got off to a bit of a rocky start at university, but now that I have changed my degree, I'm so much happier. You'd absolutely love the campus! There's so much wildlife and a beautiful loch that you would have loved to wander around. I've just finished my first year, and whilst it's been quite an eventful few months, I couldn't have done it without you and Grandad. I know that you had been saving for my tuition fees since I was only a baby, but since I don't need to pay for my fees in Scotland, it went towards my rent. In order to repay you, I will make sure that I do my very best and try as hard as I can to hopefully finish university with a first in my degree.

Christmases and birthdays aren't the same without you. I miss your Christmas dinners and the huge chocolate cake that you always used to make me for my birthday. My mum makes Christmas dinner now, and she does an amazing job, but I think we all miss your presence around the table. I wish you'd been here to celebrate my 18th birthday with me. It was a pretty big milestone in my life. We all went for dinner as a family though, Grandad too, and I had a great time. Everyone made it super special for me.

I think that's pretty much everything that I wanted to tell you. I miss you more and more every day, and it breaks my heart that you aren't here to witness all the amazing changes that have been happening in my life recently. Sometimes it hits me that you won't see me graduate or be at my wedding, and you won't get to meet my future children. That always makes me tear up when I think about things like that. My goal in life is just to make you proud, and I really hope that you are. There has been a huge gap in my life since you left. The relationship that you and I had was unlike any other. You were always there for me, and I felt like you truly understood me. You taught me how to be the best that I could be, and I value every moment and memory that we had together.

I love you with all of my heart.
Jade x

11 Things My First Year of University Has Taught Me

Today is the day that I officially finished my first year of university. I honestly can't quite believe how fast these past 8 months have gone by. It's been such an amazing experience, but I've definitely had some ups and downs. Moving to Stirling for university was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I know its cliché, but I really do feel like I've completely grown up over the past few months. Don't get me wrong, I can still be awfully childish, but I can now say with confidence that I know how to look after myself properly. I've learnt a lot over these last eight months, both academically and personally, so I thought I'd share some of them with you!


1. You don't have to live up to the stereotype

This is probably the biggest thing I've learnt this year! Before coming to university, when I thought of the "typical student lifestyle," I thought of constant nights out, messy kitchens and eating pot noodles for breakfast. Don't get me wrong, for a lot of people, that really is the case. My kitchen in halls is always a mess, and a lot of people that I know go out at least 3 nights a week. But I've realised that I'm not your typical student, and I'm okay with that.

2. It's okay to change direction

During my first semester, I was studying history, sociology and professional education. Throughout my sixth year at school, I was so sure that this was the right degree for me and that one day I would become a history teacher. However, once I got to university that quickly changed. I realised that history wasn't for me, and I didn't want to spend the next four years studying something that I didn't like. Now I'm doing my degree in sociology and criminology, and so far, I'm loving it. I find it so much more interesting, and even though I've absolutely no idea what career I see myself doing five years from now, I'm still so glad that I changed my degree path.

3. My family mean everything to me

Moving to Stirling was a huge step for me. Although I'd been looking forward to moving out and having a sense of independence, I didn't realise how much I would actually miss my parents. I love having my own space, but I really miss being able to see my parents everyday. My mum is definitely my best friend, and I never would have gotten through this year without her help. She's been a massive shoulder to cry on. My dad has also been a huge support system for me. Growing up, we really did argue with one another like cat and dog, but now that I've grown up, we get on better than ever and I really do value his advice. He always knows the right thing to say, and I know that he would do absolutely anything to help me. I can't thank my parents enough for all the help and support that they give me.

4. It's okay to hate nightclubs

Nightclubs make me so nervous, especially when you can hardly move because they're so busy. I like going for a dance with friends, but after a while, I just get anxious and want to leave.

5. I like beer more than wine

I should probably thank my boyfriend for this. I agree it's not the most ladylike beverage, but for some reason, I really quite like the taste.

6. Having a job whilst studying gives you a true appreciation for money 

Back in September, I started working at my current job and I absolutely love it. The job itself really interests me, and I also have the nicest manager alive. But working alongside my studies really has given me a true appreciation for money. I'm much more careful about what I spend my money on, and I've been trying really hard to save as much of it as I can. Also, if it wasn't for my job, I probably would never have met Sophie! She is one of the kindest, funniest girls that I've ever met, and I really do value her friendship.

7. You won't always get on with everyone 

I can't stress this one enough. At university, you meet so many new people that you just want to be friends with. But there will always be people that for some reason, just don't seem to like you. I've spent a lot of time over the last few months feeling upset because of things people have said or done, but it has also taught me how to have a thicker skin. I have friends that I love and adore, and I don't need people in my life who are going to constantly put me down or make me feel excluded.

8. You can survive on a diet of pasta

I can't even come to comprehend how much pasta I have eaten this year. Being a student, I live for anything quick and easy, and pasta is usually the answer. Jordan always makes fun of me because I eat so much of it.

9. Moving into university accommodation was the best idea

There have plenty of times over the past year when I have cursed living in halls, but overall, I definitely wouldn't have done things any differently. First year is the time to meet new people and have new experiences, and I definitely don't think any of that would've been the same if I'd stayed at home and travelled in every day. Of course, everyone is different, but I would definitely encourage anyone in the future to move into halls if they can.

10. Relationships can still be successful 

Jordan and I have been together for almost a year now, but before coming to university, I was nervous that being apart for long periods of time would put a strain on our relationship. But thankfully, it hasn't at all. We've been able to see each other much more often than we thought we would, it just takes effort from both sides. I think the distance has actually made us a lot stronger, as we truly value every single moment that we have together.

11. People who want to be in your life will make the effort

Of course this works both ways, but it's become apparent to me this year how much effort I put in to other people, and how little I so often get back. It's been so common for people to ask when they'll next be seeing me or when I'm next coming home, but a lot of the time, it would be just as easy for people to make the effort to come and see me. This year has 100% shown me who my true friends, and I couldn't be more grateful to have them in my life.

The past eight months have been such a whirlwind of different emotions and experiences, but I've had such an amazing time and I've absolutely loved it. I'm excited to go home now though for a few months to just relax, spend time with my friends and family, and prepare myself for next year.