Showing posts with label independence. Show all posts

Putting Myself First

If you're a regular reader of my blog, then you might have noticed that I haven't really been active recently. A lot was happening in my personal life that meant blogging just wasn't something I wanted to do. It was a pretty tough month for me, meaning I wasn't exactly feeling very creative, but I want to explain a little bit about why I haven't been active. I now feel so much happier both within myself and my every day life, and I want to start working on my blog again. 

Over the past few weeks, I've learnt a lot about myself and my character. When you're in a long term relationship, you tend to put your significant other at the centre of everything you think about and do. But when that person suddenly leaves, life can become extremely lonely. I've always been particularly independent, or so I thought, but I didn't realise just how little I actually focused on myself until I truly was on my own.  I've always put other people and their wants/needs before my own. A trait I seem to take from my mum. You could argue that this is both a good and a bad thing, but there comes a point when you have to start putting yourself first. Something I haven't done in a very long time

Being in love is amazing, and having someone to share your life with is a beautiful thing. But you don't realise just how much of your life is taken up by that person until they suddenly aren't there anymore. I put my all into my relationship, doing as much as humanly possible to make my ex-partner happy. Something I hope he would agree with. So when I became single, I had so much free time that I was unsure what to do with it. As I live on my own, one of my main worries after my break-up was that I would feel lonely. However, I've felt quite the contrary. I haven't actually spent all that much time on my own as my friends made sure they were keeping me busy, which definitely helped me get over everything I was going through. But even when I am on my own, I've just been enjoying focusing on myself. I actually feel less lonely now than I did before. 

There's no way I would've gotten through the last couple of months without the help of my friends and family, both of which have been the most amazing support network. My Mum was there for me when I was upset and needed a shoulder to cry on, and my Dad was always there to pick me up and give me the harsh truth that I needed to move on. All of my friends have been so amazing too, such as Sophie, who helped me realise how to be confident in myself and how much happier I am now, and also showed me that night's out and nightclubs are actually a lot of fun. Something I never used to think. But also Amy for still being there for me even though she's just started a new chapter of her own, and Annya for just being a text message away whenever I needed a friend. But I definitely wouldn't be as happy as I am now without Emily. Emily (my BFF for life) is the most incredible person I've ever met. The amount of support and comfort she's given to me over the past two months is something I'll never forget. From coming to my rescue late in the evening because I was upset, to cooking me dinner at least twice a week and putting up with my moaning for hours on end. Emily truly is one those people who is beautiful both inside and out. Everyone needs a friend like her in their life.

What the past couple of months has taught me is that time really does heal everything. No matter how low or down you may feel about a situation, as long as you have an amazing support network, you'll defintely get through it. Over the last couple of weeks in particular, numerous people have told me how much happier I seem and how they're glad to see that the "old" Jade is back. And I really am. My aim for now is just to focus on me, spend more time with my loved ones and just have fun. I'm excited to see what the next few months will have in store for me.

A New Chapter

As I am writing this post, I am currently sat up in bed with a cup of tea, still in my pyjamas. I've been pretty busy over the last couple of weeks, and a lot of exciting things have happened, so I thought I would write a bit of a chatty post this morning just to update you all.


I finally moved back to Stirling on Saturday, as I only have one week left until I go back to university for my second year. I'm actually quite excited about going back to university. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think it's because I have so many exciting things planned for over the next few months, and I'm also ready to get stuck back into my course again. Last year, I changed my degree to sociology and criminology, so I'm looking forward to starting the criminology part of my course. I'm also doing an extra business module on the side which I'm quite looking forward to trying. I had a lot of ups and downs at university last year, so I'm hopeful that this year will bring a lot more new experiences and happy memories. It sounds a bit cliché, but I feel like I'm about to start a whole new chapter of my life.

This weekend was the first time I had spent the night in my new flat, and it felt really surreal to me that I now rent my own little place. My mum helped me move the rest of my stuff in on Saturday, and I got so emotional when she left and went home. All of a sudden it hit me that I am actually on my own. Living alone doesn't scare me, but it hadn't felt real that I was moving out until that moment when my mum left my flat. All of my family seem to really like my flat, so I'm hoping that my family will come and visit me a little bit more over the next few months. As I lived in halls last year, they felt a little bit awkward when they came to see me. But now that I have my own space, they'll be able to come more often. 

Something else fairly exciting also happened last week. I now have my own domain name!! I've really been trying to put that little bit of extra effort into my blog lately, and I'm finally starting to see it paying off. So I thought why not purchase my own domain name, and move away from my blogspot domain. From now on, you will be viewing all of my posts at www.studentwanderer.co.uk! I'm going to keep trying to improve my blog, so if you have any feedback then please feel free to let me know.

Now that we're into September, it is officially my birthday month. In just under three weeks, I will be turning 19! I can't believe how quickly this past year has flown by, as it doesn't feel like that long ago since I was celebrating my 18th with all of my family and my old flatmates. I usually get really excited about birthdays, but for some reason, I'm not really about this one. I think it's because I'm in a really good place in my life at the moment, and I feel truly satisfied with everything around me. I just want to have a nice day with my friends and family.


During August, Jordan and I spent quite a lot of our time through in Edinburgh. We had so much fun exploring the Fringe festival, and even just the city itself. One of the highlights of my month was watching the fireworks at Edinburgh Castle on the closing night of the Fringe. They were just so incredible, and unlike anything I'd ever seen before. I've always loved Edinburgh as it is such a beautiful city, but during August I seemed to develop a greater appreciation for the city in a way that I hadn't before.

A lot has happened in my life recently, and I'm sort of enjoying all the changes! I'm excited to get started on my second year of university, but I'm also looking forward to being more independent and getting to do my own thing. Living on own was defintely the best decision for me, but it will also mean that I can see my family a lot more often too. It is also finally starting to feel more like Autumn now, which is my favourite season. Hopefully everything will go up from here, and I hope all of you have a lovely September, too.

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Twelve Tips for University Freshers

I'd like to start by saying congratulations to everyone who got the results they needed and are now off to university! I remember filling in my UCAS form, wondering how on earth I would get the grades to get into uni. Surprisingly, I got an unconditional for my top choice and I'm so grateful that I'm able to attend an amazing university. Starting university can be extremely daunting, even more so if you're moving to a new city and leaving home. I can't quite believe how fast my first year of university went by, as here I am, already waiting to start my second year. 

I know from experience that moving into halls and starting university can be quite scary to think about. You've no idea who anyone is, and the thought of meeting new people can be quite daunting for some people. However, you'll quickly learn how to cope on your own, and as cliché as it sounds, you're university experiences will be unlike anything else. For this post, I thought I would put together a few tips on how to make the most of your freshers week, and how to make your first year of university a little bit easier.


1. Take advantage of Freshers Fairs

During Freshers week, there will be so many events happening to help you meet new people and find out more about your chosen university. I loved visiting my freshers fair last year! There were so many different stalls, most offering a variety of freebies, such as Dominos pizza or vouchers for Nandos. There's also a sports fair and another one for clubs and societies. These are to let you know all about the different sports teams you can join, or to help you find like-minded people by joining a society.

2. If you're staying in university accommodation, make your room as homely as possible

Leaving home at 17/18 can be a scary thought, especially if you're moving to a completely different city. If you're moving into university accommodation, my main tip would be to try and decorate your bedroom, and make it feel as homely as possible. This will help you feel comfortable in your new room, and will hopefully make you feel a little bit less homesick. The best way to do this is to take plenty of photos of friends and family with you to put up around your room.

3. You do not need to buy every book on your reading list

At the start of the semester, you will be a given a list of recommended reading for each of your modules. Your first instinct will probably be to buy every book on the lists, but you really don't need too. A lot of books nowadays are online, so you can often download them as a PDF straight onto your laptop. Another option is to buy them second hand. Textbooks can cost upwards of around £30, so when you have to buy at least 12, that can become pretty pricey. Amazon always sell both new and old copies of textbooks, and your university's book shop probably do the same. My favourite site to buy textbooks last year was from abebooks.co.uk. They sell textbooks really cheap, and all of the ones that I ordered were in really good condition.

4. Check what is included in your rent/accommodation so that you don't overpack

As soon as I found out I was moving into halls, I could wait to go shopping for my new room. A lot of halls nowadays are furnished, for example, my kitchen already had all of the appliances we needed (like a toaster, kettle, etc) and my bedroom came with a duvet and pillows. Of course, you can always buy and take your own, but moving out and just university in general can be extremely expensive, so it's best to save money where you can.

5. Register with the medical centre

No matter how much of a hassle filling out the extensive questionnaire may seem, it's definitely best to register for your local medical centre. I was reluctant when I first moved to university, but I'm so glad I did. No matter how healthy you were at home, you will definitely get freshers flu if you are staying in halls. Being around so many new people, your body is bound to catch something, so it's best to be on the safe side just incase you ever need an emergency appointment.

6. You won't necessarily get along with everyone

This is even more true if you are staying in halls. When you are forced to live with various other strangers, it is pretty much a given that your personality will clash with at least one other persons. Especially when sharing your living space. But there are so many places to make new friends and meet new people at university, so if you don't get along with your flatmates, or you don't particularly like the people in one of your seminars, it's not the end of the world. Make sure you try to meet new people when you first start at university, as you never know who you'll become really good friends with.

7. Never feel pressured to like something just because everyone else seems too

When you mention freshers week, most people will automatically think of getting drunk and going out every night. For some people, that is what fresher's week really is like. But there are so many other things to do, that if drinking is not for you, you don't have to feel pressured into doing it. It wasn't later in the year that I realised I don't particularly like night clubs or drinking, and I felt like by not liking those things, I was isolating myself. But you should never make that a reason to do something you don't like. There will be so many people at university that feel the same way you do about things. Most of my friends at university don't really go out much either, but it wasn't until my second semester that I felt I had made true friends.

8. If possible, do your food shopping online

During my first year, I absolutely swore by home delivery when it came to my food shopping. When you do your food shop online, you are more likely to get the essentials and the things you know that you need. Whereas when you go walking around Tesco with a trolley, you're much more likely to buy extras just because they're on offer, or you were hungry at the time, or because they looked enticing. By shopping online, you'll probably find that you spend around £10 less than you do when you actually go to the shop. Another bonus of online shopping is the home delivery. Whenever I used to go to Tesco, I would end up struggling to get on the bus with my bags, and I used to have to walk over a bridge, which became a real pain when my bags were heavy. This way they are delivered to your door, and you only have to take them directly to your kitchen!

9. Don't be afraid to do things on your own

At university, you really do develop a true sense of independence that you probably didn't have before. There are so many opportunities at university, but not all of them will appeal to everyone. You have to get used to doing things on your own and going places by yourself, because a lot of the time, no one is going to be there to go with you. Don't be afraid to try new things and put yourself out there.

10. Don't be that person that leaves week old dirty dishes by the sink

For the sake of everyone else in your flat, please just wash your dishes. Leaving your breakfast dishes is fair enough if you're going to clean them later that day, but leaving food stuck to your plate for over a week isn't just unhygienic, it's also rude to your other flatmates. It will make your kitchen smell disgusting, and illnesses in halls are frequent enough, without your bacteria ridden week old food sitting on the side waiting to infect someone. No-one wants to be labelled the messy flatmate that everyone gets a bit frustrated with.

11. Don't leave your work until the last minute

We're all guilty of procrastinating and putting things off until later. But when you rush to finish an assignment the night before its due, it's probably not going to be as good as it could. And your marker will defintely know you've rushed it. Set yourself time aside to study and work on your essays or assignments, but also schedule yourself time off and give yourself something to look forward too. That way you'll be able to balance both university and your social life.

12. Attend your lectures

I, for one, know how it easy is to skip a 9am lecture because you'd rather have an extra hour in bed. But it's really not a good idea to miss them. A lot of universities now upload recordings of their lectures online, which makes them even easier to skip. But at the end of the day, you won't be concentrating as much if you just have your lecture playing in the background as you scroll through Facebook. Also, university is really expensive, so its better to attend your lectures and make the most of whats on offer to help you.

If you're starting university in September, good luck! Hopefully some of these tips will help you or help to give you an idea of what to expect. Your first year will fly by, and before you know it, it'll be summer again, so make sure you make the most of it!

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Why I'm Okay About Living On My Own

Yesterday morning, at 11am, I got the keys to my first ever flat. This is a huge step for me, but I'm so excited about it! Thankfully, my parents have been super supportive, and yesterday helped me heave all of my belongings up three fights of winding stairs. They're a lot fitter than me, that's for sure! But ever since I started telling people about my plans, and how I'll be living on my own, they always question my decision. Of course, I realise that its not necessarily the norm for an 18 year old student to choose to live by herself, but that's what people don't seem to understand. It's been entirely my choice.


I lived in halls of residence last year, and I really did enjoy the experience. But that's also when I realised that sharing my living space with numerous other people isn't really for me. I loved my flatmates, but I definitely need my own space. If you were having a bad day, everyone would know about it, and being a private person, that isn't something I enjoyed. The only personal space that I had was in my own room, but sometimes I felt a bit trapped. Which is one of the main reasons that I wanted my own flat.

Whilst living in halls, I learnt an awful lot about myself and the way that I feel about certain things. One thing that I learnt, is that I'm extremely independent. I enjoy making my own decisions and thinking for myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an unsociable person. I'll definitely have my friends and family over most evenings. 

Another perk of living on my own, is that everything will be mine, and will always look exactly how I left it. The thing that I hated the most about living in uni accommodation, was the constant mess. No matter how many times the kitchen was cleaned, it would only take a matter of hours before you could barely see the sink again. That's not something I can cope with again. Call me a clean freak, but I like knowing my tabletops aren't crawling with bacteria. It'll be nice to only have to clean up after myself for once.

But most of all, I'm excited for the responsibility that comes with having my independence. It might sound silly, but I've been truly enjoying setting everything up and buying my own homeware etc. Living alone can definitely be a struggle, especially financially, but I've got a great job that I love, which alongside my student loan, will definitely be enough to get me by. So hopefully this post has shown the people that think I'm too young to live by myself, that I really am capable of doing so, and that it's entirely my own choice.

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