If you're a regular reader of my blog, then you might have noticed that I haven't really been active recently. A lot was happening in my personal life that meant blogging just wasn't something I wanted to do. It was a pretty tough month for me, meaning I wasn't exactly feeling very creative, but I want to explain a little bit about why I haven't been active. I now feel so much happier both within myself and my every day life, and I want to start working on my blog again.
Over the past few weeks, I've learnt a lot about myself and my character. When you're in a long term relationship, you tend to put your significant other at the centre of everything you think about and do. But when that person suddenly leaves, life can become extremely lonely. I've always been particularly independent, or so I thought, but I didn't realise just how little I actually focused on myself until I truly was on my own. I've always put other people and their wants/needs before my own. A trait I seem to take from my mum. You could argue that this is both a good and a bad thing, but there comes a point when you have to start putting yourself first. Something I haven't done in a very long time
Being in love is amazing, and having someone to share your life with is a beautiful thing. But you don't realise just how much of your life is taken up by that person until they suddenly aren't there anymore. I put my all into my relationship, doing as much as humanly possible to make my ex-partner happy. Something I hope he would agree with. So when I became single, I had so much free time that I was unsure what to do with it. As I live on my own, one of my main worries after my break-up was that I would feel lonely. However, I've felt quite the contrary. I haven't actually spent all that much time on my own as my friends made sure they were keeping me busy, which definitely helped me get over everything I was going through. But even when I am on my own, I've just been enjoying focusing on myself. I actually feel less lonely now than I did before.
There's no way I would've gotten through the last couple of months without the help of my friends and family, both of which have been the most amazing support network. My Mum was there for me when I was upset and needed a shoulder to cry on, and my Dad was always there to pick me up and give me the harsh truth that I needed to move on. All of my friends have been so amazing too, such as Sophie, who helped me realise how to be confident in myself and how much happier I am now, and also showed me that night's out and nightclubs are actually a lot of fun. Something I never used to think. But also Amy for still being there for me even though she's just started a new chapter of her own, and Annya for just being a text message away whenever I needed a friend. But I definitely wouldn't be as happy as I am now without Emily. Emily (my BFF for life) is the most incredible person I've ever met. The amount of support and comfort she's given to me over the past two months is something I'll never forget. From coming to my rescue late in the evening because I was upset, to cooking me dinner at least twice a week and putting up with my moaning for hours on end. Emily truly is one those people who is beautiful both inside and out. Everyone needs a friend like her in their life.
What the past couple of months has taught me is that time really does heal everything. No matter how low or down you may feel about a situation, as long as you have an amazing support network, you'll defintely get through it. Over the last couple of weeks in particular, numerous people have told me how much happier I seem and how they're glad to see that the "old" Jade is back. And I really am. My aim for now is just to focus on me, spend more time with my loved ones and just have fun. I'm excited to see what the next few months will have in store for me.
