Little Things I'm Grateful For

                                                                             

Fluffy blankets.

Hot Chocolate with marshmallows.

My amazing friends.

Clean bed sheets.

Skinny vanilla lattes.

Stationary.

Netflix.

Fairy lights.

Online shopping.

Gym enthusiasm.

Cosy pyjamas and fluffy socks.

Being able to have a lie in later than usual.

Feeling truly and completely happy.

Creating a 'to-do' list and getting everything done.

Long, hot showers.

Finding a new TV series to binge watch.

Knowing that I have a great support system.

It's only a few weeks to go until Christmas.

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What are you grateful for today?

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Putting Myself First

If you're a regular reader of my blog, then you might have noticed that I haven't really been active recently. A lot was happening in my personal life that meant blogging just wasn't something I wanted to do. It was a pretty tough month for me, meaning I wasn't exactly feeling very creative, but I want to explain a little bit about why I haven't been active. I now feel so much happier both within myself and my every day life, and I want to start working on my blog again. 

Over the past few weeks, I've learnt a lot about myself and my character. When you're in a long term relationship, you tend to put your significant other at the centre of everything you think about and do. But when that person suddenly leaves, life can become extremely lonely. I've always been particularly independent, or so I thought, but I didn't realise just how little I actually focused on myself until I truly was on my own.  I've always put other people and their wants/needs before my own. A trait I seem to take from my mum. You could argue that this is both a good and a bad thing, but there comes a point when you have to start putting yourself first. Something I haven't done in a very long time

Being in love is amazing, and having someone to share your life with is a beautiful thing. But you don't realise just how much of your life is taken up by that person until they suddenly aren't there anymore. I put my all into my relationship, doing as much as humanly possible to make my ex-partner happy. Something I hope he would agree with. So when I became single, I had so much free time that I was unsure what to do with it. As I live on my own, one of my main worries after my break-up was that I would feel lonely. However, I've felt quite the contrary. I haven't actually spent all that much time on my own as my friends made sure they were keeping me busy, which definitely helped me get over everything I was going through. But even when I am on my own, I've just been enjoying focusing on myself. I actually feel less lonely now than I did before. 

There's no way I would've gotten through the last couple of months without the help of my friends and family, both of which have been the most amazing support network. My Mum was there for me when I was upset and needed a shoulder to cry on, and my Dad was always there to pick me up and give me the harsh truth that I needed to move on. All of my friends have been so amazing too, such as Sophie, who helped me realise how to be confident in myself and how much happier I am now, and also showed me that night's out and nightclubs are actually a lot of fun. Something I never used to think. But also Amy for still being there for me even though she's just started a new chapter of her own, and Annya for just being a text message away whenever I needed a friend. But I definitely wouldn't be as happy as I am now without Emily. Emily (my BFF for life) is the most incredible person I've ever met. The amount of support and comfort she's given to me over the past two months is something I'll never forget. From coming to my rescue late in the evening because I was upset, to cooking me dinner at least twice a week and putting up with my moaning for hours on end. Emily truly is one those people who is beautiful both inside and out. Everyone needs a friend like her in their life.

What the past couple of months has taught me is that time really does heal everything. No matter how low or down you may feel about a situation, as long as you have an amazing support network, you'll defintely get through it. Over the last couple of weeks in particular, numerous people have told me how much happier I seem and how they're glad to see that the "old" Jade is back. And I really am. My aim for now is just to focus on me, spend more time with my loved ones and just have fun. I'm excited to see what the next few months will have in store for me.

Goals For My Second Year Of University

I've just recently started back at University for my second year. I can't believe how quickly the past year has flown by, as it doesn't seem that long ago since I was moving into university accommodation and getting to know my flatmates over freshers week. I'm so excited to get stuck into my second year and get back into a proper routine again. 

This year, instead of staying on campus, I'm staying in a flat in the city centre. This means that I now have to get the bus into uni every day, so I'll have to make sure I don't get lazy and stick to my schedule. When I first started university last year, I started out doing my degree in history, sociology and education. Half way through the year, I realised that history definitely wasn't for me and I didn't really want to be a teacher either. So after a mini break down in December, and questioning if university was for me, I decided to change my degree and give something else a go. I'm now doing my degree in sociology and criminology, and so far I'm really enjoying it. I haven't started the criminology aspect yet, but I get to start that this year, so I'm excited to see what it involves. 

Now I'm not going to lie, last year I did a lot of procrastinating and defintely wasn't as studious as I probably should've been. Don't get me wrong, I was still very pleased with my overall grades, but this year I want to go that little bit further and put in more effort. So I've come up with a few goals to help make the most out of my second year.

1. Attend all of my lectures

At university, lectures aren't usually registered, which makes them super easy to skip as no one will know you weren't there. My university also puts our lectures online so that we can re-watch them later, which also makes them easy to miss. But this year, I'm going to make it my priority to attend as many of lectures as I can. Of course, if I only one lecture in a single day, I probably won't travel into uni just for that as I could be working. But I'm going to make sure that if I do miss one, that I make sure to catch up properly.

2. Try to do well in all of my modules, don't just settle

It's a known fact that in first year, you only really need to get 40% in each of your modules to pass them. I always aimed to do as well as I could in my modules, but at that point in the semester when everything seems to be getting on top of you and you feel like your work is never ending, the thought "I just need to pass" definitely entered my head. More so in modules that weren't actually part of my degree. But this year I'm going to try and do as well as I possibly can in all of my subjects by putting in that little extra effort. I'd quite like the opportunity to study abroad in my third year, so this year really counts for me.

3. Be open to trying new things

In first year, I was definitely a little bit reserved to opening up and trying new things. I didn't join any societies or sports, and I was quite happy to just keep my head down and do my own thing. But this semester, I'm going to be more open to trying new and different things and try and put myself out there more.

4. Be more organised

It's no secret that I am a total stationary addict. I have countless notebooks, diaries etc all to try and help me be more organised, but to be honest, I end up using them for a week or two and then I somehow seem to just give up. So this year I plan to be better at organising my schedule and making sure that I leave plenty of time aside to get all of my work done and on time.

What are some of your goals for the year ahead?

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An Open Letter To My Grandma

On the 4th of February 2014, my Grandma sadly passed away. She was diagnosed with cancer just 11 months before, and those few short months were the quickest of my life. My Grandma was one of the most important people in my life, and her lack of presence in my life is something I still struggle with every day. Our relationship was truly special. My Grandma would've done absolutely anything for me, and she taught me so many valuable lessons about life. This post is particularly personal for me, and I debated about whether to publish it or not. But my Grandma was a wonderful lady, and my blog is a place where I express a lot about what's happening in my life, so that's why I'm choosing to upload this.

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Dear Grandma,

It's been a couple of years now since the last time we were together. I can't believe it's been that long. It feels like only yesterday that I was by your side, holding your hand and wishing that things were different. A lot has happened over the last two years. If only you could see for yourself how much I've changed and grown up. Every day, something new happens that I want to call you up and tell you about. It breaks my heart not being able to do that, but I know that you're watching over me and helping me along the way.


As soon as I turned 17, I started learning to drive! I know that you were so excited for me to start my lessons. It was all thanks to you and Grandad for saving up all that money for me and buying my lessons for my birthday. I can't thank you enough for that! Less than 9 months later I passed my test and was on the road all by myself, if only you could've been here to see me.

I finished high school with pretty good grades and managed to get an unconditional offer for the University of Stirling. I got off to a bit of a rocky start at university, but now that I have changed my degree, I'm so much happier. You'd absolutely love the campus! There's so much wildlife and a beautiful loch that you would have loved to wander around. I've just finished my first year, and whilst it's been quite an eventful few months, I couldn't have done it without you and Grandad. I know that you had been saving for my tuition fees since I was only a baby, but since I don't need to pay for my fees in Scotland, it went towards my rent. In order to repay you, I will make sure that I do my very best and try as hard as I can to hopefully finish university with a first in my degree.

Christmases and birthdays aren't the same without you. I miss your Christmas dinners and the huge chocolate cake that you always used to make me for my birthday. My mum makes Christmas dinner now, and she does an amazing job, but I think we all miss your presence around the table. I wish you'd been here to celebrate my 18th birthday with me. It was a pretty big milestone in my life. We all went for dinner as a family though, Grandad too, and I had a great time. Everyone made it super special for me.

I think that's pretty much everything that I wanted to tell you. I miss you more and more every day, and it breaks my heart that you aren't here to witness all the amazing changes that have been happening in my life recently. Sometimes it hits me that you won't see me graduate or be at my wedding, and you won't get to meet my future children. That always makes me tear up when I think about things like that. My goal in life is just to make you proud, and I really hope that you are. There has been a huge gap in my life since you left. The relationship that you and I had was unlike any other. You were always there for me, and I felt like you truly understood me. You taught me how to be the best that I could be, and I value every moment and memory that we had together.

I love you with all of my heart.
Jade x